What if I told you…
Inside of you, right now, there exists a dormant ‘positive thinking’ superpower.
It’s not some supernatural ability that requires years of meditation to activate.
In fact, it’s something you do every single day (but not correctly).
Mastering this superpower is the key to banishing:
- Anxiety
- Self-criticism
- Catastrophising
- Perfectionism
- Compulsive thinking
- Panic attacks
- …and more
It does not require affirmations, meditations, supplements or even hypnosis (although it does speed things up a lot).
Acquiring this superpower only requires that you learn one new, simple skill.
Here’s how it works:
Your brain is a giant computer that runs a ‘mental programming language’.
Self-talk
This IS something you know how to control.
HOWEVER…
Everyone makes a critical mistake
You do not control 100% of your self-talk.
You already know this if you wrestle with a strong inner-critic or perfectionist part that seems to have a mind of its own.
You consciously control just one part of your internal dialogue (quite a small part actually).
That’s why trying to control every thought that goes through your mind does not work – it’s counterproductive.
It’s like that boss who micromanages the whole team and never lets anyone speak for themselves.
When you learn to correctly control your self-talk, you truly master your mind.
Here’s what that means:
Self-Criticism
You probably spend significant energy fighting your inner-critic.
That’s a huge waste, but it’s better than relenting to it.
Right?
Agreeing with this inner-critic is devastating to your self-esteem and you’ll feel the panic start to rise almost immediately.
So you fight.
It probably seems like they are the only two options.
But there is a third option:
First of all (disclaimer)…
If I told you to befriend this inner-critic you might (justifiably) say:
“NO WAY!”
Perhaps you blame this part of you for wrecking your life and prohibiting you from enjoying your success.
Maybe you’re even right about that (it’s possible).
But you don’t need to be ‘friends’ with this part to have a productive relationship.
After all, you’ve probably worked with colleagues you didn’t want to be friends with, but you have no problem working with them.
That’s what you need to do with this self-critical part.
You need to reset the relationship with this part.
Instructions at the end of the email.
Catastrophising
There’s a part of you that says:
“It’s unlikely to happen, but it would be a disaster if it did… so you’d better worry about it.”
This part always focuses on the negatives, the worst case scenario, the total devastation that is just slightly possible.
Every bump is cancer, every email from your boss means you’re about to get fired, every delay responding to a message means they don’t really like you.
So you overthink everything.
You know this does not make logical sense, but you can’t remember that when you start to panic.
So, how do you get this part of you to see sense?
Here’s the mistake everyone makes:
Trying to reason with this part of you.
You know it’s NOT a reasonable part – it’s irrational.
So how do you get through to this part?
The same way you get through to an irrational person.
This part needs to feel supported before it can get out of the fear.
It needs kind words, not cold hard logic.
That’s the magic ingredient.
Instructions are at the end of the email.
Perfectionism
‘Good enough’ does not exist in your unconscious mind, even though you know it makes logical sense.
There’s a voice in your head that just won’t let you stop until it’s perfect.
100% is required.
Problem is, 100% is usually impossible – and almost always impractical.
Truth is, productivity and success are about producing a high volume of adequate work.
But that’s a horror show for the perfectionist part.
So you carry on ‘perfecting’ way too long, letting opportunities pass you by,
This perfectionism serves one of two purposes:
- Maintaining standards
- Protecting from failure
What most people don’t realise is that you can often negotiate the standard.
However, it must be a proper, good-faith negotiation…
You must specify the domain where the standard applies and the new level you propose.
You cannot be vague (you’re dealing with the perfectionist FFS!).
Asking the perfectionist to “Just lower the standard a bit” is always going to fail.
You need to learn how YOUR perfectionist judges standards and negotiate a new standard in each particular domain.
That might mean that work standards can be reduced but personal hygiene standards remain the same, for example.
These two factors are CRITICAL to recalibrating the perfectionist to be more effective and less stressful.
Instructions are at the end of the email.
Compulsive Thinking
Whether it’s eating, drinking and drugs, or even OCD, the compulsive part feels like a monster living inside you.
You tell yourself “STOP”, but your mind does not obey you.
And no matter how hard you try to resist, you know that once the thought gets into your head, there’s only one way to get it out again:
Obey the thought.
So you have the cheesecake, wash your hands 5 times or make that phone call you know you shouldn’t.
Then the emotions come crashing down on you.
Could be fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, frustration, sadness… it’s a unique blend for every compulsive thinker.
Fighting the compulsion head on means losing every time, so maybe you don’t even fight anymore.
In fact, fighting is the wrong approach anyway.
The solution – ask yourself “what’s underneath this thought?”
I’m sure you’ve tried that already but here’s the difference:
Start by taking the compulsion seriously.
Yes, you read that right.
Take the part of you that has this compulsion seriously and don’t belittle it by telling yourself that it’s silly and self-defeating (even if it is).
If you have kids you know that they are not the most rational little creatures.
However, telling them that they are being babyish can often be counterproductive.
Little kids (just like the compulsive little monster in your head) need a reason to give up that security blanket.
They need gentle encouragement.
They need patience.
They do NOT need admonishment and belittling.
Treat this compulsive part of you the same way you would that little kid and you will see better results.
Instructions are at the end of the email.
Anxiety & Panic
Here’s the thing:
You know how to think yourself into a panic, but not the other way…
You DON’T know how to think yourself out of anxiety.
Curious, eh?
Here’s why you struggle so much:
Simply agreeing with the negative thought will create more anxiety.
Simply disagreeing with the negative thought does not reduce the anxiety (it can, in fact, increase it).
So what’s the alternative?
First things first:
When you talk to yourself, you are talking TO something.
The thoughts in your head are not simply fragments of language – they are meaningful communications from the unconscious mind.
They come from something you might think of as an ‘inner-child’.
In fact, they DON’T come from an inner-child, but let’s simplify things for the time being and assume they do.
Would you speak to a child the way you speak to yourself?
I’m guessing, NO.
I’m guessing you’d be kinder and more patient.
The reason you get so stuck in anxiety is because you do not hold yourself to the same standard in your inner dialogue, that you hold yourself to with your outer speech.
I bet you do most if not all 6 of these:
- Ignore negative thoughts
- Distract yourself
- Reason and argue with the thoughts
- Get frustrated
- Shout (and swear) at yourself
- Tell this ‘voice’ in your head to go way
Plus (7) you probably tell yourself you’re being ‘ridiculous’ to feel afraid.
All very bad for your anxiety (especially that ‘ridiculous’ thing as I will explain later).
To get anxiety under control you must eliminate these 7 things and replace them with proper conversation in your head.
Instructions are at the end of the email.
Self-Love
I bet you’ve heard that being kind to yourself and practicing self-love is the key to a positive mind.
It is, but…
You’ve probably tried it and it didn’t create a positive mind.
Or maybe you don’t even know what you’re supposed to be doing?
Let me tell you, it’s not pampering yourself.
A massage is fine – enjoy it.
But it’s not self love.
Nor are positive affirmations, which is why they often meet resistance from the unconscious mind.
True self-love is finding compassion for that scared little child in you.
It’s being patient with the petulant teenager in your head, who tells you everything you do is wrong and you suck
That’s how you grow.
Instructions for creating true self-love are at the end of the email.
Self-talk mastery is your superpower #1.
However it’s counterintuitive so most people create unnecessary friction in the unconscious mind leading to:
- More negative thoughts
- More anxious feelings
- More frustration, overwhelm and disappointment
But when you get the balance just right…
That inner-critic becomes a source of encouragement.
That perfectionist aids your success and gives you space to be creative.
That catastrophising part calms down and stops overthinking.
That compulsion seems less serious.
It’s like upgrading your whole mind system to one that is up to the job of running your life.
If you’d like to learn how to master your self-talk and unleash this superpower, here’s how you can do that.
I’ve created a 6 part email series:
Part 1 – [subject]
Part 2 – [subject]
Part 3 – [subject]
Part 4 – [subject]
Part 5 – [subject]
Part 6 – [subject]
It starts to tomorrow at 9am
INSTRUCTIONS:
Request the 6 part email series and get to work unleashing your positive thinking superpower
Click here to request Self-Talk Mastery (Season 1) & banish anxiety
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